Coucoumellisms

Something someone said the other day kind of struck me.  My friend's husband left her, and among other nasty things he's said about her, he said this: she was lousy in bed. I'm sorry, but that's not even possible.  That's a figment of modern society's imagination and too much porn.  It's the idea that sex is a sport, and that people are expected to perform somehow, to keep things interesting and if they don't, then they're lousy in bed. As if switching it up, or switching partners was what made sex interesting.  As if just being with someone you find genuinely interesting wasn't enough to make sex interesting.  As if you could find sex boring with the one person you think is the most awesome, most interesting person you know. There is no such thing as being lousy in bed. If you think, (and it IS all in your head) that a person is lousy in bed, it is because YOU are not genuinely interested in them.  The problem, my friend, is with YOU....

Imagine this scenario for a minute: You ordain a straight priest.  You ask him to take vows of obedience, chastity and celibacy.  Then you put him in a women's monastery for the rest of his life, where he will be sharing meals, activities, common rooms and bathrooms with all kinds of women, many of them young and attractive.  Does expecting him to remain chaste and celibate while spending most of his time with women sound a little far-fetched? But then can one expect the same of a gay priest who spends most of his time in a community with other men, some of them also gay, and many of whom are quite attractive? For a man who has no desire at all for marriage with a woman, to be asked to give up marriage and live all his life with men he is attracted to is either an excruciating, intolerable, practically impossible sacrifice in the case where he does remain faithful to his vows of celibacy and chastity, or it is not a sacrifice at all. Can a gay priest ever really und...

There truly is a very thin line between what is rape and what is not rape. So men, when she tells you outright, that she doesn't want to have sex with you, but you grope her anyway; when she pushes your hands away, but you keep putting them back; when she doesn't get up, slap you in the face and leave, but tolerates it, because she does like you; when she stops pushing your hand away because you are not listening anyway, because she hasn't acquired that self-assurance she needs yet, to really stand up and make you listen, and because she actually still TRUSTS you not to go any further; what do you do? If she has stopped resisting the groping, do you decide to take it further?  Then despite further attempted resisting, when you've managed to arouse her enough that she can't resist anymore, because she'd never been aroused before and she didn't know what it was like, is that all the invitation you need to go on and finish it?  Because now her bo...

I'm beginning to think there is more to this idea that men should be the "head of the household". There is the obvious - men are physically stronger; but that's not it.  It goes deeper than that, and it isn't that women are in a lower class, and need to be told what to do either.  It isn't that at all.  Being the head does not make you the boss. If men are the head of the household, it goes without saying that women are the heart. Peter Kreeft compares men, in a talk that he gives, to reason and women to faith.  In general, this is true.  We are complementary.  He goes on to say that Christianity is a marriage.  Not just between Christ and his bride the Church, but between man (Adam) and Eve (woman), between Reason (which started with the Greek philosophers) and Faith (which started with Judaism and is completed in Christianity). When a "divorce" happens between faith and reason, the Church weakens. I know quite a few men, who seem to be ...

Yesterday, as the sun's rays were angling down, and the day wasn't so hot anymore, I found myself alone, still cleaning the van, as I'd been doing for, oh, the past two hours. The adolescent who didn't want to cooperate was asleep in his bed, the daughter was with a friend, and the husband had just woken up to go fishing with the boys. Yes, you read right. I was washing the car, while the husband was sleeping and fishing. Now let me explain why there is nothing wrong with this picture. The husband spent the whole night working on some project they had him working on at the Yellow Pages. Then he sort of dosed for an hour and a half before the second son's third soccer game of a tournament he was in. The husband is the team manager, so he has to be around to take care of certain things. We got back at around 2:30 or 3:00, and the husband went straight to bed. The husband got up to go fishing because the second son really wanted to go. Not because he really felt like i...

To Women: He's sensitive, romantic and tries hard to please you, but when there's a problem he seems oblivious. When you ask for input on a decision, he says, "It’s up to you." Women give this book to men, tell them to read it and say, "This is what I have been trying to tell you all this time!" To Men: No matter how hard you try to please her, she's not happy. You work hard, but don’t feel appreciated. You feel you have lost control of your life. Learn how to gain respect and become a hero to the woman in your life. After reading this book, ask a woman if what it says is what she really wants. You may be surprised at her response. Check it out

Raising boys: Your family, our culture Meeker, M. (2008). Boys Should Be Boys, Washington DC, Regnery Publishing Inc. By Rebecca Walberg, a Winnipeg-based writer and policy analyst Meg Meeker, an American pediatrician, wife, and mother, has written a second book about parenting that will be very unpopular with those devoted to the premise that there are no natural differences between boys and girls. But for those who believe that mothers and fathers play different, complementary and essential roles in the raising of children, Boys Should Be Boys is an insightful and thought-provoking look at what sons need from their parents, and how families and our culture shortchange many young men. Dr. Meeker’s first parenting book, Strong Fathers, Strong Daughters, published in 2006, discussed the importance of the father-daughter bond to young women. This time, she turns her attention to boys, from preschool until young adulthood. Parents who have raised both will already know some of the dif...

I don't get you. You (in general) fall in love with a girl, then get your hearts broken when she ditches you for another guy. But then when you meet a girl you like, you ditch her if she refuses to have sex with you right away. You go with the girl who'll sleep with anyone, anytime and then you wonder why she doesn't stick with you. Had you been a little more patient, had you thought maybe the girl who wants to wait might be worth waiting for, you might have found out that she's the one who'd stick with you for life too. In this crazy screwed up society, noone wants to wait for the one worth waiting for. With the sexual revolution, and the pill, women became the "equal" of men. Free to have consequence-free sex. Instead of making men responsible, we took responsibility away from women. Now noone is responsible. Noone cares. Women are free to break mens' hearts as much as men were free to do so before. Maybe even more so. Because now, there i...

In many ways, I am like any feminist. I believe in women's rights. The right to work, to fair and equal wages, the right to vote, etc, etc. I guess you could say I am a traditional feminist, such as the first suffragistes, who were also pro-life. A feminist such as the ones involved with feminists for life . I am not a bitter, man-hating feminist who thinks that in order to be equal, we must become an adrogynous society. I appreciate men. I think men are the ones who have it hard now. I like a dominant male. I like being told what to do, especially when it is in my best interest. Sometimes women need to be told what to do, because sometimes we forget to relax and have fun, we spend too much time doing what we think is necessary and we forget to just take a break. I had a guy tell me to put my watch away when I took it out to look at it and was going to put it on. He insisted. I complied. No looking at the time when you are spending time together. I've had another guy order me ...

Evangile de Jésus-Christ selon saint Jean 8,1-11. Jésus s'était rendu au mont des Oliviers ; de bon matin, il retourna au Temple. Comme tout le peuple venait à lui, il s'assit et se mit à enseigner. Les scribes et les pharisiens lui amènent une femme qu'on avait surprise en train de commettre l'adultère. Ils la font avancer, et disent à Jésus : « Maître, cette femme a été prise en flagrant délit d'adultère. Or, dans la Loi, Moïse nous a ordonné de lapider ces femmes-là. Et toi, qu'en dis-tu ? » Ils parlaient ainsi pour le mettre à l'épreuve, afin de pouvoir l'accuser. Mais Jésus s'était baissé et, du doigt, il traçait des traits sur le sol. Comme on persistait à l'interroger, il se redressa et leur dit : « Celui d'entre vous qui est sans péché, qu'il soit le premier à lui jeter la pierre. » Et il se baissa de nouveau pour tracer des traits sur le sol. Quant à eux, sur cette réponse, ils s'en allaient l'un après l'autre, en com...

I reorganized some things in the office the other day. I found out that Dear Husband still has floppy disks. Like for a commadore 64. Those of you over the age of 30 will remember those dinosaurs. When I mentioned this to him and told him he could get rid of them he tried to tell me his new computer would still read them. I think he thought I meant the diskettes, so I went downstairs, got them, and showed them to him. There is no way ANY of our computers is going to read those things. I think he still wants to keep them. He also has diskettes with window 3.2 on them, as well as an odd assortment of other obsolete software. Anytime soon now, he's going to disinstall Windows XP and put that on instead. Because our fast, new computer will be eternally grateful to him for going back to the "good ole days". One of these days I am going to throw out his stuff and just not tell him, and I bet he won't even notice. Or maybe I'll choose one or two of his floppies, ...

I've gotten this too, from the endearing but clueless husband... That really does look like me though, when I go bolistic, for much the same reason.

Marc: (in slightly surprised tone) What did you do to your hair?! Me: (laughing while putting groceries away) I got it cut two days ago. Marc: (now on the defensive) Well, I got in really late two days ago and I went straight to bed after coming home yesterday. Me: (still laughing at him) You saw me in the mornings, and besides yesterday you were with me watching Jean-Alexandre play soccer before coming home. Marc: (still on the defensive) Well, what did you expect me to be looking at at soccer?! Me: (still half-joking and now indicating the groceries to be put away) So, are these going to put themselves away, just like that? For the next 5-10 minutes I get the cold shoulder. Oops I guess I shouldn't have asked him to help out in quite that manner. Not to mention I made pizza for the kids but there's none for him, just that leftover horrible meat that's kind of tough and full of fat and that I really regret having bought, with a bit of rice. I suddenly wonder if, wi...

... I am rolling my eyes here, and shaking my head, don't know whether to laugh or cry... enough said... I'm sure any women reading this don't even need to know to be able to sympathize... Now that I am done complaining, shall I list his positive points? He's good with his hands. He's got a sense of humour. He puts up with my bad habits. We have some similar interests. He's intelligent (when not tired, he must have been tired tonight, that explains it...) He's talented with a camera. Etc, etc, etc,... He's an alien and he's up for sale... Ha ha, just kidding.

This is the most silly DH'ism I have had the honour of witnessing: DH does not like to throw things out, I did not either until I realized (1.) how much better the quality of my life is without a whole bunch of useless objects in the way, (more space to put things, less clutter, easy cleaning, etc...) and (2.) with the exception of two letters, (that I am not even sure if I threw out or just lost...) I have not regretted throwing out or giving away any of it. Earlier this year, DH had just finished putting up some new shelves in our office/computer room/hairsalon. He placed two shelves above the computer and five on the wall to the left of the computer. Two of the shelves on this wall are slightly longer than the other five. DH filled the shelves above the computer with a bunch of computer programming books. I filled one and a half of the slightly longer shelves to the left with my things and the childrens' things that I want to keep (baby souvenirs, report cards, certifi...