Monday, March 28, 2005

Sad news

Found out yesterday that a friend and previous teacher of mine is dying. He doesn't have long to live. He has cancer in the membrane of the brain. Am feeling a little sad for that. He was such a good influence for so many young people growing up in Moose Factory. I am just glad that I had the chance to see him again last summer after so many years.

I had a wonderful Easter, it isn't over yet, today is Easter Monday... and there is still the whole Easter Octave...

I went to everything. I fasted Friday until after the 3:00 service. I went to a procession in the morning, the service in the afternoon and did the way of the cross at home with the children. Saturday I went to the Easter vigil.

Danielle and Sylvain were here on Saturday.

I went to mass on Sunday with the children and then Rose Anne and I prepared brunch. Marc went to get Thérèse. Thérèse spent the day with us.

Saturday, March 19, 2005

Feeble effort at leaving some news...

St. Joseph's feastday today,... patron of the family...

We are going to watch a movie again tonight, soon I hope, so we don't get to bed too late...

Not much to say today...


Thursday, March 17, 2005

Another X-files story...

Introvigne said he believes that "The Da Vinci Code" has had such enormous success because it "brings together two types of social 'tastes' which appear to be quite widespread": "on the one hand, the notion of 'conspiracies' and secret societies that dominate the world; and, on the other hand, an increasingly unashamed and virulent anti-Catholicism."

My turn to hysterically laugh... but the above so ACCURATELY describes my husband, an X-files fan and a firm believer of conspiracies, extra-terrestials and anything anti-catholic... Now I'm being snide... how un-charitable of me...

Da Vinci Code

This whole Da Vinci Code thing is enraging me. Of course it's all in the papers all over that the Vatican doesn't like the book, of COURSE it's not going to like a book that not only attacks it but also attacks it's faith reducing it to nothing... HEELLLOOO people!!! Are we stupid or what? Would jews stand by and say nothing if someone wrote a book saying Abraham was just another nomad, and Moses never really crossed the desert to bring the Israelites out of slavery and that Yahweh was never there for them, and that they are riduculous because they only eat cocher and won't touch porc? etc,...

Yesterday in La Presse, they even went so far as to call the Cardinal a "Prince of the Vatican", sarcastically of course...

My husband this morning, as the subject came up on the radio asked snidely "Did you hear that? The Vatican has banned the book." This is not true and I told him so. They do not recommend the book because it is false and full of lies and misinterpretaion, but they have not banned it. He didn't believe me, but he can believe what he likes.

However I am mad at him because of the way he comes out and says this, his tone of voice, like saying "See? Yet another proof of the ignorance and stupidity of the Vatican." (Which would make me stupid and ignorant for believing anything they say of course.) I HATE IT when he does that!!! I HATE talking to him about anything to do with religion. COULD HE JUST SHUT UP FOR ONCE PLEASE AND NOT BRING IT UP? I don't talk to him about religion all the time, could he NOT talk to me about anti-religion? I am still sooooooo mad.

This is when I need that trip away to my island, where I no longer have a husband,... I could really use a desert island right about now,... then I wouldn't have to listen to people's comments anymore about my faith. I could cry...

Wednesday, March 16, 2005

Alone but not lonely... (from Juana la Cubana)

On my island I have no husband, I have no children, I have no job, no errands to run... I am alone, but not lonely. I eat coconuts and go fishing. I sweep the dirt floor of my hut and then my housecleaning is done because I have so little that there is very little to clean. I have a few visitors from time to time, Aquaman and the Gypsy Queen,... but mostly I am alone, except for the parrots. There are parrots on my island. They fly around squawking and I do not have the patience to try to teach them to speak.

I have time for painting on my island, and noone to get into my stuff while I am at it. I draw and I paint. I am an artist in my soul. I write poetry and then I rip it up and burn it in the fire if I don't like it which I often do not.

I have no phone, (except for my satelite phone, which needs to be charged), and mail is never delivered to my island.

The sun is shining today. I am alone, I have not had a visit in awhile. The parrots are doing their thing, and I am breathing poetry, but I do not write it except in the sand with a stick where the waves and the tide will eventually do away with it.

I have loved and I have been loved, this is what is important. I am at peace. I close my eyes and the smell the salt air and feel the breeze on my face and tugging at my hair. Here, there is nothing unnecessary, life is simple.

The Good Things in my Life

-I am close to my family, brothers and sisters and parents
-I have a good husband, who does not often complain, and is quite patient with me even when I do not always deserve it.
-I have four beautiful children
-I have a house to live in and meals to eat, and clothes to wear
-I have outings to look forward to and parties to go to every once in awhile
-I have friends even though many of them are not in town
-I am not constantly surrounded by violence
-I do not fear for my life
-I do not worry about where my next meal will come from
-I have the opportunity to study
-I can read
-There is music in my life, and art and poetry
-I live half in the country, with space around the house for the children to play in, a park behind us, a pond in our front yard with fish and frogs in it, there are huge trees in our yard and a place to build a fire outside
-I am healthy and not overweight
-I am lucky enough to speak three languages and have access to information and best of all, friends and family in those three languages
-I have faith in God and that faith keeps me out of depression when things go bad,
-My friends and family are also there to keep me out of depression when things go bad
-When times are tough, I learn to aprreciate even more my friends and family
-I have my little island, that little place within myself that I can go to when I need to get away
-I have a sense of humour
-I am strong
-I am Juana la Cubana, there is no other like me, I am a unique person in a world of unique people (so,... like everyone else, I am unique... ha ha)
-I am loved, and have been loved, by many different people

Tuesday, March 15, 2005

To choose to be happy...

I am struggling somewhat with this right now. I am a believer in choice. I believe in mind over matter (somewhat). I believe that we are able to find joy in what we have and be happy with that, but it is not always easy. I am going to start with this story as an example, one I have read a few times, it is going around on the internet and I have received it a number of times already, but it still is a good example:


John is the kind of guy you love to hate. He is always in a good mood and always has something positive to say. When someone would ask him how he was doing, he would reply, "If I were any better, I would be twins!" He was a natural motivator. If an employee was having a bad day, John was there telling the employee how to look on the positive side of the situation. Seeing this style really made me curious, so one day I went up and asked him, "I don't get it! You can't be a positive person all of the time. How do you do it?"

He replied, "Each morning I wake up and say to myself, you have two choices today. You can choose to be in a good mood or ... you can choose to be in a bad mood. I choose to be in a good mood." Each time something bad happens, I can choose to be a victim or... I can choose to learn from it. I choose to learn from it. Every time someone comes to me complaining, I can choose to accept their complaining or... I can point out the positive side of life. I choose the positive side of life. "Yeah, right, it's not that easy," I protested.

"Yes, it is," he said. "Life is all about choices. When you cut away all the junk, every situation is a choice. You choose how you react to situations. You choose how people affect your mood. You choose to be in a good mood or bad mood. The bottom line: It's your choice how you live your life." I reflected on what he said. Soon hereafter, I left the Tower Industry to start my own business. We lost touch, but I often thought about him when I made a choice about life instead of reacting to it.

Several years later, I heard that he was involved in a serious accident, falling some 60 feet from a communications tower. After 18 hours of surgery and weeks of intensive care, he was released from the hospital with rods placed in his back. I saw him about six months after the accident. When I asked him how he was, he replied, "If I were any better, I'd be twins Wanna see my scars?"

I declined to see his wounds, but I did ask him what had gone through his mind as the accident took place. "The first thing that went through my mind was the well-being of my soon-to-be born daughter," he replied. "Then, as I lay on the ground, I remembered that I had two choices: I could choose to live or... I could choose to die. I chose to live."

"Weren't you scared? Did you lose consciousness?" I asked. He continued, ".. the paramedics were great. They kept telling me I was going to be fine. But when they wheeled me into the ER and I saw the expressions on the faces of the doctors and nurses, I got really scared. In their eyes, I read 'he's a dead man'. I knew I needed to take action." "What did you do?" I asked.

"Well, there was a big burly nurse shouting questions at me," said John. "She asked if I was allergic to anything. 'Yes, I replied.' The doctors and nurses stopped working as they waited for my reply. I took a deep breath and yelled, 'Gravity'." Over their laughter, I told them, "I am choosing to live. Operate on me as if I am alive, not dead." He lived, thanks to the skill of his doctors, but also because of his amazing attitude... I learned from him that every day we have the choice to live fully. Attitude, after all, is everything.


So I guess I have to stop being the victim. Okay, so things have happened to me in my life that were beyond my control, and I made some decisions without knowing the whole story that have irrevocably changed my life and I can't go back. I was mostly happy BEFORE knowing the whole story. I CAN still be happy with what I have, because after all, I DID choose this, and I DID want it.

I know this is confusing, but let's just say a long time ago I had something I really wanted, something wonderful, but through misinformation and miscommunication I thought I had lost it, that the opportunity didn't exist anymore. I have just learned recently that this is not true, that I had not lost it. But it is too late to go back, I have continued on with my life since then and from where I am today, I cannot go back. In a way it is like losing the opportunity twice. For a second time, I have to put a cross on it. It is like mourning twice for the same person. It would be easier if I had never learned the truth. There would be no regret. I would be where I am today and I would be happy and satisfied with that. But now I have regret.

It helps to pinpoint that. That is what I have to work on to be happy again. I don't want to regret anything. Regret leads to wishing your life were not as it is... I want to be happy with my life as it is.

I am also a believer in God. I do not believe in DESTINY so much in the sense that our lives are planned ahead and we have no say in them,... but I do believe that everything happens for a reason. This gives me hope. I think maybe, just maybe, if I have learned the truth, there might be a good reason. And I KNOW if I am where I am today, there is a good reason. I might never live to see the reason, but there is a reason. When Naomi left Israel with her husband and sons and then lost them all in that strange land, it was a tragedy. But how could she know that this tragedy would eventually permit the marriage of her daughter-in-law to Boaz, and the birth of Obed who would be the grandfather of one of Israel's greatest kings, David? She couldn't know and she didn't live to see the birth of king David let alone see him crowned, although she was there for Obed's birth and I am sure that gave her joy as well.

Other woman have married heathen husbands, (admittedly some of them did not CHOOSE to do so as I did, but at least one other did...) and their husbands have converted through the intercession of their wives. Perhaps that is my purpose in life? If it is so, it is not to be taken lightly. Many of these women have suffered, many saints suffer, so if I too suffer, it is so I can offer it up for my husband.

Monday, March 14, 2005

Just having a thought...

Thinking about what I just posted today,... about the FARC. (Fuerzas Armadas Revolucionarias de Colombia) They kidnap and "disappear" people all the time for politcal or economic reasons. They kidnap people for whom they can expect to be paid over a million dollars for their safe return, and they do not negociate because they know it is highly unlikely that the person could ever be rescued. If they are not paid raight away, they up the price and charge interest. They kill the person with no regret if their security is threatened. Life is worth nothing to them. This is what happened to Cecila Cubas, (daughter of ex-president Raul Cubas of Paraguay) she was put in a tunnel that had been dug out to keep and then she was assassinated. The pictures I posted along with the article below say it all, people are held chained and drugged in holes and tunnels in inhumane conditions.

Ingrid Betancourt, Colombian Presidential Candidate, and her Campaign director, Clara Rojas were kidnapped by the FARC February 23, 2002. I can only imagine what conditions they might be living in, if they are even alive today... The Colombian government and paramilitary etc, etc, aren't really interested in having them released, for political reasons... See info in English here:

The official site for the liberation of Ingrid Betancourt is here, but available in French and Spanish only:

So many of these people, (paramilitary groups, guerillas, etc in different countries) all receive their training at the School of the Americas in the US. If Bush was really interested in fighting Terrorism he'd start in his own country. And he calls himself pro-life? You have to be more than anti-abortion to be pro-life...

How horrible humanity can be when it gives up on God...

My weekend

Saturday we went to the Sugar Hut "Au Pain de Sucre". It was a very nice place. I am glad I chose that one, it wasn't too big, but it wasn't small either, it was in the woods, we went walking, we went for a ride on a wagon pulled by a horse named Rosie, (a percheron) and the food was great... of course we had maple toffee on snow... it was a lot of fun. Rose Anne was with us and some neighbours down the road, that we met because their daughter Emily went to school with Dominic before he changed schools. Plus we had Brother Laferrière whom we knew from all the way back in Moosonee, years ago. He only lives about 15 minutes away from us now.

Sunday we had Serban, Anca and Mara for supper. Rose Anne was still with us, and I had a bit too much wine to drink,... but we had a lot of fun. We laughed the whole time. Serban is Dominic's godfather. Had a headache from all the wine last night and had a couple of weird dreams, woke up after the first, and couldn't sleep again for awhile, then finally fell asleep and dreamt I was walking on some kind of savanna or something and I was looking for something and walking right up to a wildcat of all things, and not afraid and it didn't even bother me, in fact, it was busy eating it's kill and it ACTUALLY MOVED AWAY BRIEFLY when it saw me coming!!! Weird. It should have been ready to defend it's kill instead, one would think... and there I was walking around with not even so much as a gun to protect myself...

I am tired this morning, and I bet anything I will have a headache this afternoon...

Wednesday, March 09, 2005

For a Spiritual Orgasm...

Gregorian Chant over the internet: (works with Windows Media Player) Click on Tune In

If that doesn't work, open WMPlayer and search for RADIO SET gregorian, that is what I had to do and it worked that way...


Tuesday, March 08, 2005

My Wedding Anniversary Today

It has been eight years today since I married Marc.

Two big moves (both cross-country) and three children (had the first before) later, we are still together. We have already done better than (what are the statistics on this?) half (?) the people who got married the same year as us in Québec.

It's not always easy, but the good outweighs the bad. Here's to eight more years... (gulp!) Ok that gulp could be interpreted in a couple of ways, let's just interpret it here as the champagne being gulped down, hee hee.

Happy Anniversary to us.

Monday, March 07, 2005

The Kiss

The Kiss 06/03/2005 by Jeanne Chabot Posted by Hello
Charcoal on Paper

(Used a photo off of Yahoo Picture Gallery for the subject, so while the drawing is my original work, the photo wasn't...)

Friday, March 04, 2005


Went outside this afternoon to finish digging out the quintzee outside. Quintzee is the Cree word for the snow shelter they make...
The difference between a quintzee and an igloo is that a quintzee is dug out of a pile of snow, and an igloo is made of blocks carved out of the snow and piled up to fit together perfectly...
Jean-Alexandre and Dominic
A snowfort in other words...

Anyway, this one room is done, and I am digging out another one, and eventually I hope to have a tunnel linking the two.
We used to do this when I was young... and had great fun especially at night running around with flashlights in the dark and crawling through tunnels... I am hoping my kids will appreciate this as much...
Got my workout this afternoon!! Shovelling snow is hard work! Snow is heavy!!!

Kids in the snow fort

Thursday, March 03, 2005

The Lies of Yesterday

(Circa 1989-90)

Around me in their stench they lie,
A thousand falsehoods left to rot and die.
In the vigor of their life they did so well
As in the ocean the waves do swell,
They were so high, then came down low
And we have damned their flow.

In the heat of the fire
They cry out from the mire;
The mess that they have created.
And we walk by with breath that is bated
Lest we smell of the stench that is theirs,
Or one should fool us into thinking he cares.

We have nearly overcome
Though the job is yet undone.
And in some places they still cause pain.
And we cry as it seems we struggle just to gain
A life that is hard for all
But especially for those that are small.


Circa 1994-95?

The student in the corner,
The man staring at me,
The beer on the counter,
The Dali on the wall.

The tears on her face,
The words on his lips,
Thoughts in one's mind,
Dirt on the floor.

He will sleep with her tonight,
Tommorrow he is gone,
Policeman at the door,
"Sorry Madam." Nothing more.

Quiet in the house,
She looks in the crib,
At the son he left behind,
Bullet through the heart.

Struggling for a cause,
Defending your beliefs,
A small place in Heaven,
Blood on sacred ground.

Movie Night again

We are going to watch another movie tonight, so the kids are supposed to be cleaning up their lego... that's a good initiative for them to clean up, they really like to watch a movie. I think we will be watching Open Water tonight.

Last night we watched Shall We Dance? I wanted to go out and take dance lessons again after that... AHhhhhhhhh!! Sighhhhhhh!! But I don't have a partner... and I don't want a leech (like Rose Anne called them) like on Satrday night...

Me, today... wearing the sweater I wear quite often... to keep me warm... I've had that sweater a loooooong time, probably since 1989.... Posted by Hello

Tuesday, March 01, 2005

Cabane à Sucre

Any québecer who is a true québecer has to go at least once a year to a cabane à sucre... so we are going this year on the 12th of March.


Here we are in the month of March again,... spring is coming, and also the season of birthdays, anniversaries, etc, (at least for us)... starting with our wedding anniversary on March 8, eight years of marriage.

Maryssa will be 5 on March 30, Jean-Alexandre will be 11 on April 25, I will be 33 on May 14... plus there is Mother's Day in May and Father's day in June.

I must go and get the floors cleaned upstairs now, so I am going to drag myself away from here and get that done...