Coucoumellisms

The following is a list of questions to be asked (without prompting) to each of my children, with the answers of each of my children, written EXACTLY as they said it. Some of these are quite astute, and others are just... funny... This was done December 24, 2016.  Jean-Alexandre was 22, Dominic was 18, Maryssa was 16, Raven was 15, Gabriel was 14 and Nicolas was 11. 1. What is something I say a lot? Jean-Alexandre: "I don't know, shuliyan." Dominic: "I don't know... LET GO OF ME!!" Maryssa: "What?!" Raven: "Vamonos" Gabriel: "Let go of me" Nicolas: "Go to bed" 2. What makes me happy? Jean-Alexandre: "I don't know, books" Dominic: "Uh... (thinking...) coffee..." Maryssa: "Books" Raven: "Soccer, a clean house, books" Gabriel: "Nothing" Nicolas: "Hugs!!" (hugs me) 3. What makes me sad? Jean-Alexandre: "I don't know, bad s...

Maryssa was upset earlier today, because she got a sore neck, from jerking back suddenly when Nicolas kicked the ball and accidentally sent it towards her face. Gabriel wanted to know why she was grumpy, or some other thing. "WHY DO YOU THINK!!!"  She replied, annoyed. "Why do I think?"  Mused Gabriel, "Because I like to think."

Jean-Alexandre was telling me what to get for groceries just now, so I told him to write down a list.  He did.  Here it is: - Hamburger meat - Hamburger Helper - Popsicles - 7Up - Cookies (Decadent/Chocolate Chip) - Milk - Granny Smith apples - 30" Sony Plasma TV - Nutella chocolate spread - Cream cheese (original flavour) -7.1 Dolby surround sound system - Soup (in prepared microwaveable container) - Mini Wheats cereal (original flavour) - Juice - Dove Men +Care shampoo - Dove Men +Care body wash - Xbox 360 console - Macaroni and cheese - Starbucks Doubleshot vanilla flavoured energy drinks - some healthy stuff... - Nicolas-repellent for cats - Oven mittens - iPod earphones by Apple - Pop (such as Root Beer, Coca Cola, etc...) Hmmmm... I don't think he'll be getting quite everything on his list...  Gotta love the "Nicolas-repellent for cats" though, bet Fluffy would appreciate that...

My husband told me the other day that I should add this gem to Gabriel's baby book.  I quote: "MOM!!  Come here!!  Papa's watching the big salami that hit Japan!!"

1.  He burps and says; "That's the sign that the tank is full!" 2.  He drinks (anything) out of a glass and asks "Got milk?" 3.  He jumps on you and yells; "Cowabunga!!!"  (Or the closest version of Cowabunga that he can pronounce.) 4.  He bugs you for days to buy/make lasagna. 5.  He randomly laughs all by himself, (remembering the funny parts).

Monday evenings, I normally bring Alex's coach and his son home from practice, because they are on the way, and they don,t have a ride back.  They pick him up, so I don't have to drive him there.  Yesterday, I went to pick them up after the practice, (Alex stayed at the stadium because we had a match afterwards), and while I was waiting for the practice to end, I went into the office to chat with the general director of the club and a few other people.  Gabriel and Nicolas were racing each other in the stadium. As I was chatting, Nicolas suddenly came running in, yelling "Mom! Mom!" and right after that, I could hear the wail of Gabriel following.  Gabriel often wails for no reason, but this particular wail sounded much more serious than usual.  I turned around to see Gabriel walking in, his face covered in blood, dripping from his nose.  I thought he must have been hit by a ball or something.  Someone pointed out paper towels above the sink in the...

... one of them looks up at the moon and says, "That looks like a Jesus's body."

Nicky:  We should move. Me:  You want to move? Nicky:  Yeah, we should move to a bigger house, for when we have another baby. Me:  You want another baby? Nicky:  I want another sister.  (Pause)  Why is Elodie a girl?  Why did they have 2 girls and 1 boy?  Why not 2 boys and 1 girl or 2 boys and 2 girls? Me: I guess you get what God gives you. Nicky:  They didn't even get married before Elodie! Me:  You think you need to get married before each child? Nicky:  When you have something coming out of your belly, you should get married quick.

... I got hurt because I am old, and older people are very frail and get hurt more easily. You have to be careful with them. When I refuted that theory by saying I used to sprain my ankle all the time when I was his age, he changed his theory to I got hurt because men are superior to women and I got hurt because I'm a woman. His theory is that we are equal in every other way except that men are bigger, faster and stronger, therefore men are superior, and that is why I got hurt.

Nicolas: How come some of the mothers (of the preschool children) never come get their kids? Me: Well, some of the mothers can't come because they have to work. Nicolas: Well, you come. Me: Yes, but I don't have to work. Nicolas: Yes you do, you go get the groceries. I'm glad someone appreciates what I do as being "work". :)

At mass today: Nicky: Where's Jesus? Me: Over there in the front. The bread becomes Jesus. Nicky: Where? Me: Over there on that big table in the front, it's called an altar. Nicky: Where? Me: It's the bread on the table, Jesus turns the bread into himself so we can eat him. Nicky: Eat Jesus? But we will kill him. Me: No, we can eat Jesus because he makes the bread become his body, so we can eat him without killing him. Nicky: Why? Me: Ummmm, so he can be our spiritual food. Nicky: But we will kill him. Me: No we won't that's what is cool about it, Jesus turns the bread into his body so we can eat him, but without killing him. Nicky: That's not cool, that's AWESOME.

Nicolas has a knack for pulling random phrases out of thin air. Every Monday evening, Jean-Alexandre and I play soccer, and every Monday evening, after the game, Jean-Alexandre insists on having a slushie, so every Monday evening, we walk into the same dépanneur (corner store) at about the same time, and get him one. This evening, we got back into the car and I began to tell this story: The ending is Jean-Alexandre's, in imitation of Nicolas. "Every Monday evening, the same two people walked into the dépanneur between 8:30 and 9:30. The old haggard woman and the fresh young man wore the same soccer uniform and sweat ran down their faces. The young man always got himself a slushie, and the woman paid for it." "And then the dinosaur ate a tractor."

I've been toying with the idea of doing something about the funny things our family ends up saying when we mix up our French with our English, and I finally did something about it. I made a little book, dedicated to my goddaughter and niece, Claire. Here it is:

I am gone downstairs for 10 measley minutes and this is what awaits at my return: Cat food strewn all over the floor. Yes, I spend far too much time on the computer. Yes, I hate housecleaning. But gosh... how can anyone keep a house clean with 5 of these terrorists running about? Ok, I take it back, I've managed to brainwash the first 2 into being civilized human beings for the most part, and the third is on her way... but still... Update He did it again, and it is still morning: Playing cards this time. And no, this time I was not on the computer when he did it, I was taking a shower...

Nicky got up in the middle of the night last night (as he does every night, and I wonder why I am still lethargic?), so I put him back to bed. He crawled into his bed and made room for me to lie down beside him. Nicky: Dark. Eat fish. Night. Me: The dark eats fish at night? Nicky: Yup. This dark eats a lot of things. I never have to worry about Nicolas running outside at night, because the dark might eat him. A month or two ago he was specifically worried that the dark would eat his penis. (What can I say, he is two, the anal stage.) I think of all my kids he is the one that has the most imagination at this age, although Gabriel came pretty close. I think I may just have to write a little story some day about "the dark". All this and he hasn't even read the book " The dark is rising " by Susan Cooper yet.

I'm putting Gabriel to bed. We've said our prayers. Me: "Big kiss?" Gabriel: "That's dégueulasse (disgusting). Ok, but this is the last time. It's dégueulasse." Me: "Huh? How come?" Gabriel: "Because ummmm... because you can catch... emotion from somebody."

Just before Easter, I went to check out a sale at Reitmans . All the winter stuff was on 50% of the lowest price, which means I got three or four very nice tops for about $4 each more or less. (Plus one from the new season for about $20). Gabriel and Nicolas were with me. Gabriel had a lot of fun picking out shirts for me to try on. I'd try them on and he'd say: "Oh you look very beautiful!" The one I got for about $20, was the one he liked the best. He insisted on that one. The next day he wanted to go back to the store and find more clothes for me. Today, while Gabriel was in pre-school, I went back for the spring sale. It's getting warm and I'm waking up to the fact that hey, I need lighter clothes in summer! So I wanted to see if they had anything nice for not too much. I found a nice tank top, and went back to the school to pick up Gabriel. When he arrived in the van, he was all upset that I had gone shopping without him! He wanted to come...

I'm putting Gabriel's skates on him, and Nicky is being silly, he comes and sits right between Gabriel's legs and looks up at me with his silly, sweet smile... "You're such a cutie-pie" I tell him, "It's a good thing you're cute 'cause other wise I'd throw you out." "Me too" he replies.