Coucoumellisms

Nosotros, las mujeres, somos hechas para amar, para dar, para acoger, para hacerle placer al otro.  Es lo que hacemos cuando amamos a alguien.  Este deseo a darlo todo, hacerle placer al otro, acoger al otro es nuestra fuerza, pero también nuestra debilidad. Es por estos mismos sentimientos que somos facilmente manipuladas. Me acuerdo muy bien como era cuando tenía 21 años.  Quieres estar con un hombre porque te gusta mucho.  Quieres pasar un rato con él. Pero no quieres sexo, no todavía.  Quieres hacerle placer, pero no quieres sexo.  Quieres un poco de afección, pero no quieres sexo.  No quieres rechazarlo, pero no quieres sexo. No quieres enojarte con él por insistir, porque tampoco no quieres ser rechazado por él, y no quieres herir sus sentimientos, porque lo quieres, pero no quieres sexo.  Terminas en aceptar más que lo que te deja cómoda, porque lo quieres, pero no quieres sexo. Antes, la sociedad tenía reglas para proteger a sus hijas ...

Today's reading recounts part of the story of Joseph: Book of Genesis 37:3-4.12-13a.17b-28. Israel loved Joseph best of all his sons, for he was the child of his old age; and he had made him a long tunic. When his brothers saw that their father loved him best of all his sons, they hated him so much that they would not even greet him. One day, when his brothers had gone to pasture their father's flocks at Shechem, Israel said to Joseph, "Your brothers, you know, are tending our flocks at Shechem. Get ready; I will send you to them." "I am ready," Joseph answered. They noticed him from a distance, and before he came up to them, they plotted to kill him. They said to one another: "Here comes that master dreamer! Come on, let us kill him and throw him into one of the cisterns here; we could say that a wild beast devoured him. We shall then see what comes of his dreams." When Reuben heard this, he tried to save him from their hands, saying: ...

I entered the dark, empty chapel this evening and instantly I felt HIS presence.  That presence that makes you want to go down on one knee and stay there. I found my way to a bench and knelt there and prayed.  I could have stayed there for hours, in the calm and silence, with God. Something has snapped inside of me.  I think a ball has been set into motion.  I see seemingly totally unrelated events suddenly coming together.  I'm not sure what direction the ball is rolling in, but of this I am certain, something is going to change. For the first time, I have seriously considered the unthinkable, and what I thought unthinkable suddenly seems not only possible but perhaps part of God's plan.  That remains to be seen.  I do know this, in order to keep the ball rolling, there are two tasks I must accomplish first.  One of them is to send my book to publishers.  The other is to find a spiritual director. Oh God, it was so good to be in Yo...

Just a few thoughts that I have written over the years, beginning with the earliest and ending with the most recent (today's thought, actually) on dating, relationships and marriage; a few things I'd like my own children to think about, or anyone else who's single : 1. Don't rush into things.  Marriage typically lasts a VERY, very, long time. 2. Don't ever compromise on the important things.  It doesn't matter how perfect the other person seems otherwise, there ARE other fish in the sea. 3. Have fun together. 4. Take long walks in the park. 5. Go to bed early.  There will be tomorrows. 6. Make sure the other person is willing (and able) to talk things out.  Brooding, walking out, refusing to talk, ignoring you, those are NOT good signs. 7. Enjoy sports together, or some other active activity. 8. Talk about the important issues - abortion, euthanasia, contraception, etc... and make sure that you are on the SAME side. 9.  Be sure that you are ...

I had a dream when I was young. I saw myself living a life, not quite so different from what it is on the outside, yet very different from what it is on the inside.  I had hopes and dreams for an inner, spiritual life.  I had a dream my life would be so different, not, as Fantine, from this hell I'm living, but from this desert I'm living. I could be bitter, but there are too many bitter and hurting people on this planet.  They didn't start out bitter.  I didn't start out bitter.  Too many people think God has given up on them, or don't believe in God anymore because what did He ever do for them? I think back to before I had any real regrets.  Who was I then?  What changed?  Why did it change? Things changed when I made a decision to do things my way. God did not abandon me.  I went my way.  I didn't leave him completely.  I just decided to do this one thing my way.  I made a wrong decision, and I suppose you coul...

I had this old book  Minute Meditations for Each Day , published by the Catholic Book Publishing Co , copyright 1982, and I hadn't picked it up in a very long time.  In fact, I am not sure that I ever really took the time to read much out of it before. Then, this past summer, Maryssa picked the book up, from the shelf beside the computer, brought it upstairs to her room, and asked me to read the meditations at night, after her prayers. There are days when I ask myself, how can I carry on?  How will I teach my children about God and instill in them the desire to keep up a relationship with him when it seems like everyone is against me?  I feel like I am constantly fighting a battle, and every time I turn around, the enemy has closed in on me even more.  I feel like I have to sneak around teaching them in secret and even become crafty in getting them to mass and other events. There are days when I have no more hope that my children will grow u...

It all started with an e-mail from my sister Rose Anne, saying that she wanted to visit a friend in Montreal on the week-end of the 17, and asking if she could come stay with us. Now there is nothing suspicious about Rose Anne coming to stay with us, although I was pleasantly surprised that she was coming back so soon after the last time. (Christmas) So I thought nothing of it, not even after Marc told me we couldn't switch ice-fishing to that weekend because he already had something. He wouldn't tell me what. Okay, fine, whatever. It was when I got another e-mail from Rose Anne, telling me she'd call as soon as she knew what time she would be arriving, that something suddenly clicked in my brain. She's coming on the very same weekend that Marc had something planned that he wouldn't tell me about? That was the first time I thought maybe, whatever it was, included me too. I went to get some gin a few days before Rose Anne was to arrive, and called Marc asking if he w...

... I've finished the first draft of my first novel and I'm now starting a second... Ever since she could remember, the seashore had always been Maria’s favourite place to escape to. It was a constant in her life, never the same twice, yet always there. Some days, the seagulls scattered into the air, screaming loudly as she walked past. Some days, the ocean was calm, some days huge crests rolled in and broke against the boulders scattered here and there along the coast. Some days the ocean was grey and angry, other days it was blue and serene, but it was always there, and it called to her as she stood, bare toes digging into the fine white sand. This was one of the subplots in my first novel and it's going to become my second novel. The above citation is the beginning paragraph.

I've been toying with the idea of doing something about the funny things our family ends up saying when we mix up our French with our English, and I finally did something about it. I made a little book, dedicated to my goddaughter and niece, Claire. Here it is:

If you were to walk into my kitchen, it would not be immediately apparent that, at heart, I am a girl who likes to be organized. I like things to have a place and to be neatly organized in a stylish, but practical way. It has to be easy to get at, easy to put away and logical. I have always enjoyed classing things and organizing things. It would only take one look at my kitchen counter however, to believe exactly the opposite of me. There, you will see empty milk bags that children have left there instead of rinsing them and putting them in the recycling. You will see the occasional half-eaten and rusting apple. You will see an endless amount of toys and other miscellaneous objects that I have picked up off the floor with the intention of returning them back to whence they came. Papers abound, as do stamps, crayons, and other office paraphernalia. My counter is, 80 % of the time, a catch-all for everything. And there is no room for me to prepare meals. Every once in awhile I get suffic...

I have been dreaming, nay, YEARNING for oh, 2 years now at least, to turn this sadly utilised area of my kitchen into something much nicer, under which I could hide the recycling (maybe even the garbage); at which I could maybe sit and do some work, or if not, at least stand and do some work; and on which and over which I could store pencils, papers, journals, magazines, mail, bills to pay, cell phones, etc. In general, I would turn it into an organized catch-all, so that my countertop would be free to serve for what it was designed... as a place to, ahem, prepare and serve meals. A woman gets really tired of always having to push stuff aside to prepare meals, or clear off the counter, move stuff temporarily, or just prepare it in the midst of the clutter. It's hard to keep a counter clean when it serves as a catch-all for countless papers, coupons, newspapers, toys and tools. I got really excited when I saw this. It's the idea of having an office area in the kitchen. The shelv...

If I let you in again, would you laugh at me then, or would you try to understand? Would you let me tell my story, Or would you only want to see it your way? Would you touch me when you spoke to me? Would you hold my hand as we walked? Would you touch my face and look at me, The way you never have before? Would you say those words you've barely ever said? So I wouldn't have to guess anymore. I've shut you out, I've closed the windows Locked the door and thrown away the key. Strangers to verbal intimacy, Our dreams tucked safely away out of sight. Would you just take the time to hold me? Would you just sit in the moonlight, silent with me? Would your eyes follow me around the room, The way they never have before? Would you say those words I've rarely ever heard? So I wouldn't have to guess anymore. If I let you into the private garden of my thoughts, Would you find the fruit exotic and the flowers rare, Or would you turn away, looking for some distraction? Would ...

I remember I was in my early teens when my father sent away for a whole bunch of tourist pamphlets about Norway, and started researching everything Norwegian. He was writing a novel, in French, about something that was to take place in Norway. That is all I knew. He wrote a couple of books, none of which I ever read, until fairly recently. Finally, after almost 20 years, and after having translated the book into English, it has been published and is available at amazon.ca . He also has another book that was "published" in French by La Fondation Littéraire Fleur de Lys. In quotations because it is actually printed on demand only. You order one, they print it and send it to you. This one is entitled Katri et le Curé de Sainte-Anne . There was a third book which hasn't been published. Not sure that he is going to do anything with that one.

I've always liked to invent stories. I used to go to bed early when I was a teenager so I could lie there and daydream. I had an ongoing story that I would add to every night in my head. I had more than one of these stories... as I got older, the type of story changed. None of these stories were ever written down, they were purely for my own pleasure and entertainment, but I've also always enjoyed writing stories, ever since I was a kid. I used to write stories in school, and sometimes at home too. I've written stories since I've been an adult too, and sometimes, at night, I still fall asleep imagining a story. I've been working on a story for 3 or 4 years now, a story that I haven't gotten bored of yet, that I haven't laid aside and forgotten. I know where I'm going with it, I still have ideas for it, I'm still inspired to write it. I think I may just finish it. The nice thing about having a blog, is that I have been able to take certain ...

This would be me... kinda... Except that I do know who and what I am, and the things I couldn't wait for are part of that... but I could use some extra time and space of my own... especially space... If there are any fairy godmothers out there, I could really use a studio ajacent to the house... If you could build a garage for my husband as well, right above that would be nice. A nice middle-sized room with lots of cupboards, counters and working space, that I could lock when it is not in use. It would have to come equipped with some kind of computer so I could also write in there and use msn and e-mail and play music. So it would need a decent set of speakers too. It would also need to have plenty of windows to let light in for painting, drawing, crafts and stuff. What I really need, is a winning lottery ticket... sigh... but I guess I would actually have to go out and buy one in order to win...