Friday, October 19, 2012

Dear Children

(Sigh no more - Mumford and Sons)
Just a few thoughts that I have written over the years, beginning with the earliest and ending with the most recent (today's thought, actually) on dating, relationships and marriage; a few things I'd like my own children to think about, or anyone else who's single :

1. Don't rush into things.  Marriage typically lasts a VERY, very, long time.
2. Don't ever compromise on the important things.  It doesn't matter how perfect the other person seems otherwise, there ARE other fish in the sea.
3. Have fun together.
4. Take long walks in the park.
5. Go to bed early.  There will be tomorrows.
6. Make sure the other person is willing (and able) to talk things out.  Brooding, walking out, refusing to talk, ignoring you, those are NOT good signs.
7. Enjoy sports together, or some other active activity.
8. Talk about the important issues - abortion, euthanasia, contraception, etc... and make sure that you are on the SAME side.
9.  Be sure that you are comfortable telling the other person anything: past hurts, hopes, dreams...
10.  Don't settle for someone you are not physically attracted to, we are both body and soul, and thus the physical is as important as the spiritual.
11.  Don't get involved too quickly.  Keep it friendly, keep it relaxed, have deep conversations on higher subjects than yourselves, get to know his/her mind before you commit to a relationship.
12. Make sure your opinion counts and is not brushed off by the other person.  (Make sure you respect the other's opinion as well, or you are not ready)
13.  Choose the person who challenges you in your spiritual life, who desires to learn more about God and discuss it with you, who desires to pray with you and for you.