Coucoumellisms

Can't sleep again tonight. I am a prisoner of my own thoughts. I must really put an end to all this wondering. The irony is, the things I wonder about won't make a difference in my life, I mean, they won't change my situation any. The reality is, in my heart, it does make a difference. And I keep on wondering... was it real? I wish I could get a straight answer. Wondering is worse than knowing...

Well, things have been cleared up somewhat with DH, but I am experiencing some real lack of motivation recently. I think it is due to a number of thigs, the number one thing is, I HARDLY EVER GET OUT OF HERE (home). I mean, I do, but mostly to take my daughter to pre-school, bring her back home and/or do errands. I don't actually "meet" anyone, and I barely say much more than hello, how are you and /or thank you to anyone. Apart from caring for my kids, I don't seem to have any meaningful activities in my life. I mean, obviously caring for the kids is meaningful, but it's the adult conversation that I miss the most. I have always been so involved, everywhere I go... teaching catechism, social justice groups, cultural groups, parish activites, school activities, sports,... I gave up playing soccer because we are having trouble just paying the bills right now, but I think just going out and doing that once a week really helped, because I don't have anything...

My Eowyn dress  FEELING DISCOURAGED TODAY!!! I want to open a hair salon in our home, nothing fancy, we don't have the money for that, all I ask is that it be clean and free of clutter, that I be able to get a permit and a business account at the bank, that I be able to accept at least mastercard and visa, (not ready for interact yet, that would cost too much, and I'd have to have a big enough clientel, and I currently have NO clientel.) Anyway, where I am situated, you can only have a home business, you can't have a commercial building, and you can't modify the room you use too much, it has to be easily restored to it's original use. It seems like everyone is against me though... DH doesn't understand the need for professionalism, for some reason, IMAGE is no big deal to him (image is EVERYTHING of course if you want a successful business in hairdressing, I'm not opening a mechanics shop here!!) DH figures I should just send out publicity and ...

Maryssa - October 2004 I STILL have that horrible sore throat. At least the pressure in my ears is gone. But my neck is sore because the glands in my throat must be all swollen too. I'm not so tired today, I got some rest last night, finally, although I can't say that it was without interruption!! Jean-Alexandre  - October 2004 I talked to Marc last night and apparently he has the same thing! (Marc is in Winnipeg until tommorrow) He didn't have a problem with his ears though, he had a bit of a fever instead. I wonder if that is what Dominic had last week? Although I'm sure he didn't have a sore throat, not that bad anyway,... he was complaining that his neck was sore just under the ears, (one of the places mine hurts now...) so maybe it was the same thing, with different symptoms or maybe it's just coincidence and in his case it is because he had an ear-ache? If he had had a throat this bad, he'd have let me know for sure... :) I got our family p...

It is now 3:11 in the morning. I couldn't sleep so I got up and made myself some herbal tea and came here to write... The Halloween Party was a bit of a disappointment. Hardly anyone came. So I worked hard for practically nothing. We had fun anyway... but I've been really tired since the kids were sick and kept us up, and then I was working hard to get things done, and since then, I have gotten a really sore throat and that has kept me awake too... We had another dog here from last Thursday to this Monday. I had to clean up after him a number of times, as he decided to vomit and pee on our carpet a couple of times. Tonight, I couldn't get out of that half-awake half-dreaming stage, you know when your mind keeps imagining certain things but you're not quite sleeping? I kept imagining the two dogs running around making messes on my carpets and I seemed to have no control over them, they'd be coming in and making a new mess as I was cleaning up the old one!! It ...