Friday, February 27, 2009

Sunday and Mass

The weekend is coming again.

I enjoy weekends. All of my kids are home, my husband is at home, I don't have to get up at 6:30.

But every weekend there is a certain factor of stress that eats away at me more and more as the years go by. It is the uncertainty of how-am-I-going-to-get-everyone-to-mass? Summers aren't so bad, because soccer activity is mainly limited to weekdays, except for tournaments, which can be very worrisome, because then I have to find masses in places I am not familiar with at times that will not interfere with games. (Or annoy the husband too much)

This weekend, I am going to see some very dear, old friends. They go to mass too, although I am not sure of the frequency. We'll be there most of the weekend, which makes it kind of hard to get to a mass without being impolite and leaving. If we ALL went to mass, it would be one thing, but since they are too good hosts to leave my husband behind while we go off, I think I'll be the only one to go. Which means, once again, finding the best mass that won't interfere with plans, like for a brunch for instance.

It all just stresses me out. If I had least had the blessing/support of the husband, it wouldn't be so stressful. If I didn't think I was annoying him by insisting on going every Sunday, maybe things wouldn't be so stressful. I hate going anywhere, or having stuff to do on weekends where we'll be gone too long, because then I have to worry about when and where we'll go and will I be able to get everyone there, or will I have to go twice and bring different people each time?

I dread Sundays.

And the irony is, once I get there, I don't get much of a mass. Jean-Alexandre is very helpful, I can leave Gabriel with him in a different bench, which helps to separate otherwise noisy kids. But Nicky is always noisy and doesn't want to stay in the bench. He would walk all over the Church chatting out loud, if I let him. The other two are mostly well-behaved, especially Dominic, but Nicky is worth 3 misbehaving children. And what can I do short of putting him in a straight-jacket and gagging him?

How long do I have to put up with this?

I think, just the thought of having to put up with another young child for another 3-4 years at mass would be enough to sway me from ever considering conceiving again. Yes, they look so cute, all swaddled up in their blankets, but a year later, they turn into terrible monsters that I no longer have energy (nay even courage) for dealing with. And is it just me and my imagination, or with each passing monster, does it take longer for them to grow out of the monster stage into civilized human beings?

There are days when I wish they would all grow up and leave the house already so I could be stress-free.

But then, I'd probably be even MORE worried about them getting to mass without me. Ohhhh the irony!

God.take.me.now.