Monday, October 17, 2005

The desert isle, blessed solitude (from Juana la Cubana)

The wind blows through my hair, which has grown longer since I have been here, and I am reminded of a old photo of my mother, long hair blowing in the breeze, surrounded by children. Here, though, there are no children, instead I am surrounded by monkeys, jumping and chattering in the trees.

Sometimes it is just easier to get things done by yourself, on your own. Sometimes it is worthwhile to not include reluctant people in your plans, no matter how important they may be to you, however important it might seem for them to be with you, just to avoid conflict and stress. I have begun to purge Gollum from certain areas of my life. Gollum is a strange mix. He desires good, but does not know what good is. He can be patient and generous with many things and then suddenly turn around and crush me.

Gollum was once a happy, innocent lad and then something happened to him. He carries a great load, it eats at him, it makes him very bitter towards certain people, places and things. I have learned to avoid certain subjects of conversation around him. I have learned to hide certain things. I have learned to avoid going to certain places with him. I must now learn to leave him out of certain projects as well.

Gollum mostly stays in his cave near the water's edge when he comes and does not visit much of my island, he would not understand it. On my island, I am free to talk of the things I wish to speak about, do the things I wish to accomplish, visit the places I want to see.

The monkeys do not seem to appreciate my presence here, so close to their home. This is their territory, I should return to mine, my humble beach hut. Or maybe I shall go take a short dip in the hotsprings just a few minutes walk from here?