Sunday, September 25, 2005

Not open to life

So Marc went and got himself "fixed" yesterday. He told me this morning that some guy almost fainted in the waiting room while the doctor was just giving general information to everyone, but hadn't done anything yet. The guy had to lie down twice and had to wash his face with cold water. All I could think of was the poor guy. Marc seemed to think this was funny. Then he told me all the guys there (with the exception of Marc of course) were there because their girlfriends/wives wanted them to get fixed, most of the women took the appointments themselves to make sure the men went and some women even ACCOMPANIED thier men. That just made me even sadder for the poor guy. I am sure he didn't want to be there going through this.

I think that is ridiculous. I mean if you have decided that you are not going to be open to life anymore, and permanently not open to boot, then for goodness sakes instead of forcing the operation on your partner, the least you could do is get fixed yourself. You don't force your partner to get fixed. No way in **** would Marc have forced me to get fixed. I AM STILL OPEN TO LIFE even if he is not. If he ever died before I went through menopause, I could still hypothetically have children with a second husband. I almost secretly hope he is in the .01 percent that have a canal re-open later on, (Happened to a friend of his) and I get pregnant again in spite of him... just to spite his decision. Although the funny thing is, if he weren't "fixed" I'd still be practicing NFP to avoid pregnancy.

In spite of the fact that I don't like him deciding to get fixed, part of me is perversely relieved because I don't really want to have more children with him. It is hard enough to raise the ones I already have in the faith, when one's husband is anti-faith.