Typical Canadian Humour, et the expense of our Neighbours...
I would like to say that the following does not entirely represent my own personal views and to apologize to any Americans who might be reading this...
"On behalf of Canadians everywhere I'd like to offer an apology to the United States of America. We haven't been getting along very well recently and for that, I am truly sorry. I'm sorry we called George Bush a moron. He is a moron but, it wasn't nice of us to point it out. (OK, I have to point out that I don't actually believe George Bush is a moron. However, I do have a hard time with a lot of his policies, especially that so-called war on terrorism...) If it's any consolation, the fact that he's a moron shouldn't reflect poorly on the people of America. After all it's not like you actually elected him. I'm sorry about our softwood lumber. Just because we have more trees than you doesn't give us the right to sell you lumber that's cheaper an better than your own. (Where I was living 2 years ago, in Prince George BC, this was definitely a sore point...) I'm sorry we beat you in Olympic hockey. In our defense I guess our excuse would be that our team was much, much, much, much better than yours. I'm sorry we burnt down your White House during the war of 1812. I notice you've rebuilt it! It's Very Nice. I'm sorry about your beer. I know we had nothing to do with your beer, but we feel your pain. (HA HA HA!) I'm sorry about our waffling on Iraq. I mean, when you're going up against a crazed dictator, you want to have your friends by your side. I realize it took more than two years before you guys pitched in against Hitler, but that was different. Everyone knew he had weapons. And finally on behalf of all Canadians, I'm sorry that we're constantly apologizing for things in a passive-aggressive way which is really a thinly veiled criticism. I sincerely hope that you're not upset over this. We've seen what you do to countries you get upset with. Thank you."
"On behalf of Canadians everywhere I'd like to offer an apology to the United States of America. We haven't been getting along very well recently and for that, I am truly sorry. I'm sorry we called George Bush a moron. He is a moron but, it wasn't nice of us to point it out. (OK, I have to point out that I don't actually believe George Bush is a moron. However, I do have a hard time with a lot of his policies, especially that so-called war on terrorism...) If it's any consolation, the fact that he's a moron shouldn't reflect poorly on the people of America. After all it's not like you actually elected him. I'm sorry about our softwood lumber. Just because we have more trees than you doesn't give us the right to sell you lumber that's cheaper an better than your own. (Where I was living 2 years ago, in Prince George BC, this was definitely a sore point...) I'm sorry we beat you in Olympic hockey. In our defense I guess our excuse would be that our team was much, much, much, much better than yours. I'm sorry we burnt down your White House during the war of 1812. I notice you've rebuilt it! It's Very Nice. I'm sorry about your beer. I know we had nothing to do with your beer, but we feel your pain. (HA HA HA!) I'm sorry about our waffling on Iraq. I mean, when you're going up against a crazed dictator, you want to have your friends by your side. I realize it took more than two years before you guys pitched in against Hitler, but that was different. Everyone knew he had weapons. And finally on behalf of all Canadians, I'm sorry that we're constantly apologizing for things in a passive-aggressive way which is really a thinly veiled criticism. I sincerely hope that you're not upset over this. We've seen what you do to countries you get upset with. Thank you."
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