Monday, February 14, 2005

My dirty, over crowded house...

Didn't do much today,... at least I don't think so... I spent a good part of the morning on the computer... I hate myself for it... I am a bad, bad mother....

My house is dirty and full of junk and I know it and I am sick of it, but there is just too much of it... Actually, it is getting better, I just got rid of two boxes that have been sitting in the dining room for ages. I hung a few pictures on the wall. I have not been motivated to do any decorating or cleaning or anything in ages. Especially decorating. For some reason I have lost all interest in decorating this confounded house. I wish I could just go through the whole house and throw half the stuff out and then clean it up. I wish there was someone who could do this with me, someone with whom it would be a pleasure to work, someone with whom I would have fun doing this. Even decorating seems like a chore now. Who would have thought we'd hear those words coming out of my mouth?

Last week I took the whole play kitchen sink to St Vincent de Paul. So that leaves us with much more room in the passage downstairs. I still need to go through old bedsheets and things and get rid of some of those too, the problem is, a lot of them are Marc's and he doesn't want to part with them even though he hasn't used them in over 10 years. They are just sitting in boxes taking up space we don't have. It is so frustrating to not be able to throw anything out. It is hard enough to keep the house clean without having to get around boxes and piles of things sitting in the way... I am so sick of living like this that I am no longer even motivated to do anything about it anymore...

I got the boys and Maryssa to clean up some stuff today, the boys cleaned their room but Maryssa is still in hers, doing nothing. She just sits there and refuses to do anything. So she is not coming out and she is not eating until she has done at least some of it. I hate it when she does that.

Looks like we will be going to a Cabane à sucre on March 12...

So,... feeling down, trapped, unmotivated, and guilty today... what a lovely combination...

When was the last time I felt like this on a regular basis? Well, minus feeling trapped,.... that's a new one for me... Been awhile...