Sunday, January 23, 2005

To be a saint...

Looking around a bit at different saints' lives, it seems to me that not all that many of them had very happy lives. Most saints seem to suffer a lot... (And endure it patiently of course) So I guess being ready to give up happiness would be putting myself on the path to sainthood? Not that I am anywhere near sainthood. Just that this seems to be a requirement for sainthood....

If that is what it takes, then I am ready... (I think) although I am not quite ready to do this without complaining just yet... and I am nowhere near patient,... and I am nowhere near good,... I am a procrastinator of the highest degree, in fact here I am on the computer again when I could be using free time to do something more useful...

I have always thought that God wishes us to be happy, even on earth... and that of course by following his laws (which are there to help us to be happy) we could be happy... but I think I was wrong... not that he doesn't want us to be happy... but happiness doesn't always happen... sometimes you have to suffer too.

I scoff at myself,... I think I am suffering, when actually so many people suffer much more than I, Jesus suffered much more than I... do I really think I am suffering?

I must pray more, and stop procrastinating... I must get off of this confounded computer and get some work done!!!