Friday, January 21, 2005

Immaculate Heart of Mary...

Pray for us now and at the hour of our death.

Someone suggested to me that I check out the green scapular, that through it's graces, conversion of loved ones could be obtained. I have hidden the scapular under the mattress in our room. And I have been repeating the prayer all evening... sometimes with tears rolling out of my eyes.

The graces are proportional to one's confidence in Mary... I do not know how much confidence I have,... but I am praying,... as much for myself as for him.

"I do not promise to bring happiness for you in this world, but in the next." Mary told Bernadette. Someone else keeps telling me "La vida no es como uno quiere." Life is not how one would like it to be. Does this mean I have to give up my happiness for holiness?

Look at St. Rita, if anyone deserved to have her marriage annulled, it was her, married off at 15 to someone she hadn't chosen and who abused her... yet she stayed with him, and despite the fact she was a holy person, her two sons followed their father's footsteps. The husband and the two sons end up dying but not before converting.

They only convert at the end of their lives. St Rita became a nun after that.

But had she been able to have her marriage annulled, would that have changed something for her children? Would they have lived longer happier faith-filled lives? Would she still be a saint even though she had had her marriage annulled? Could she not have continued to pray for the ex-husband after annulment? Did she have to give up happiness for holiness?

Do I have to wait until DH is on his death-bed for him to convert? Do I have to give up happiness for him to convert?

Immaculate Heart of Mary, pray for us now and at the hour of our death.

The same person also told me, "No existe una vida feliz, solo existen momentos felices." A happy life does not exist, only happy moments exist. In other words, noone is ever happy all the time. But I think some people are mostly happy, and others are mostly unhappy. I want to be mostly happy.

Immaculate Heart of Mary, pray for us now and at the hour of our death.