Dear Canada Post and USPS

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I would really appreciate it if you could get the parcel that I am waiting for to me as soon as possible. I know you have a lot of parcels to send to a lot of places, but this one happens to contain a few books I ordered, for a fairly high price, and I have been waiting for this package, which was sent to me through a friend, for at least a month now. Quite frankly, I am starting to get worried. You do realize, that had I gone to get them myself, it would have taken me 5 hours and not 5 weeks?

Thank you very much for your consideration.

Dear Patron Saint of Lost articles, (AKA Saint Anthony)

Please help Canada Post and USPS to find the package they have somehow misplaced and get it to me as soon as possible.

Amen.

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