Cree humour

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Got this in my inbox:

Top 10 ways things would be different if Santa were Aboriginal

10> At bedtime, kids would leave dry meat and bannock for the big guy.
9> He would wear a red turtleneck to hide his hickeys.
8> Santa's new moccassins are made out of Dasher.
7> His name would be "Santa Bear Claws" instead of Santa Claus.
6> There would be a bingo marker under every tree.
5> His elves would never show up for work on Fridays and sometimes on Mondays too!
4> His sleigh would need a boost every other province.
3> His outfit would consist of a red flannel ribbon shirt, with matching leggings, moccassins and a beaded black belt with matching beaded rimmed hat all to match his oversized gift bag; underneath it all would be a beaded thong with a small delicate plume attached to the back.
2> Indian preference hiring would require you to hire all Crees to fit in those tiny elf outfits.
And the number one way things would be different if Santa were Indian.....
1> According to Indian time, our gifts would arrive in February.

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